(In the order in which they popped into my head)
Night of the Comet (1984) “The last time it came the dinosaurs disappeared!”
A comet wipes out pretty much everybody on Earth, and turns most of the rest into zombies, leaving a girl, her cheerleader sister and that guy from Star Trek Voyager to fight for survival in downtown LA. Oh yes, and there are white-coated survivors from a military base who want to dissect them. What more do you need?
Expect fast cars, piles of dust that used to be people, a girls’ shower room visit from an undead cop and a looting trip to the mall which ends when zombie store detectives intervene.
From beyond (1986) “Humans are such easy prey”
Don’t go messing with your mind! That’s the message of ‘from beyond.’ Scientists do something to their brains to try to soup the things up a bit and end up in a spot of bother. It turns out that we are always surrounded by these nasty airborne piranha type things. They are deadly, but they normally can’t see us, except if you upgrade your brain. Then they eat your flesh!
Expect flesh-eating things, horrific ‘The Thing’ style creatures and Reanimator’s Jeffery Combs with a little third eye stalk thing growing out of his forehead. This show scarred me for life, so best stick to Shrek if the kids are around.
Troll (1986) “Worlds of Magic, Mystery and Menace.”
An ancient troll king moves into an apartment block and, with the aid of a magic ring, he sets about turning everyone in the building into plant pods. There goes the neighbourhood!
Expect short-arsed slimy hate-fuelled puppets who commit the ultimate horror movie act: turning you into something. There’s even a puppet-heavy scene with bohemian rhapsody.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) “It’s Craaazy!”
Small town America is invaded by aliens, but no one notices until many people are slabbed, because the aliens look like circus clowns.
Expect gruesome circus clowns who will sip your brains out with a curly straw. There’ll be candy floss, big tops and possibly an amusing dog wearing a ruff. Also, the movie starts with some teenagers making a visit to legendary necking zone, Makeout Point!
Nightflyers (1984) “Where they’re headed isn’t the mystery. What’s taking them there is.”
Some guy hires this Blake’s Seven style spaceship to go in search of some fabled space creature. They never actually meet anyone belonging to the ship prior to departure apart from a hologram of the original guy from the Robin Hood TV series. (The Clannad one!) Well. It turns out he was born in space and is too week to leave the ship. His evil mother or possibly girlfriend had herself downloaded into the ship’s computer and she gets jealous when her son/lover falls for one of the girls on board and, fearing he’ll leave, starts killing the crew off.
Expect a dismembered head attached to a computer saying ‘ello dawleen’. The dad from the Fresh Prince being cut to bits, stereotypes aplenty and many blatant rip-offs of every other sci-fi horrors you’ve ever seen. Still, I liked it!
Killer Klowns
Troll
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